Alright my little fit fairies, yesterday one of my best friends, Katie Dunlop and I, started our 21 day adventure cleanse! The adventure cleanse is part of Kris Carr's book, Crazy Sexy Diet. The diet includes a LOT of juice, but you are also eating! A lot of salads and a lot of veggies! But still eating in a cleanse?! AWESOME!
We wanted to make sure this cleanse worked. To completely rid our bodies of impurities and yuckies. So... We decided to take the plunge into the world of Colonic Hydrotherapy. What is Colonic Hydrotherapy you ask? Well here it goes:
Colonic Hydrotherapy is the use of enemas, intended to rid the body, focusing on the large intestine, of stagnant material, toxins and parasites.
**WARNING!! THIS WONT BE PRETTY**
Now, usually I am the most awkward person when it comes to conversation of fecal matter. To this day, I still can't even say the word p**p... >.< but I am determined to make my body the best it can be, even if I have to deal with the P word.
As I entered the Hydrous Clinic, I wasn't sure what to expect... Were they going to see my bum? Were they going to see.. It? ODORS? Oh god.
Being the great friend that I am, I let Katie go first, whom sent me various pictures and texts as she went through the procedure! How lovely :)
My turn had finally arrived. I walk into the procedure room, and there it is, my best friend for the next 45 minutes, what looked like a massage bed, but with an itty bitty hose/tube and a hole right in the middle. Oh and also a dixi cup filled with lubricant and a rubber glove. Lovely.
Procedure:
1. Put on the Tiffany blue rubber glove, take a nice finger size of the slippery lube and lube up that tushy! (Well not your cheeks, but you know...)
2. Lay down on the bed and insert your new friend mr. Tube. "BUT WE JUST MET!!" Don't worry about it going to far in, you'll just know.
3. Pull the sheet over top of you, press the call button for the nurse to come in, and let the 45 minutes of fun begin!
One of the things that made me feel more comfortable is that you do most of this yourself, you're in charge of everything!
The nurse comes in, turns on the water flow, which fills you up by gravity, more like a nice light stream, rather than Niagara Falls shooting up your backside. After you are nice a full of this purified water, as the nurse explains... "Just release!"
I spent the next 45 minutes feeling like I had the worst food poisoning of my life, without any of the pain OR ODOR, and watching my past, I don't know how many meals, flow by me in a nice clear tube. (You're welcome mom for the picture)
After my session, I literally felt cleaner, thinner, and lost 3 lbs! I definitely recommend this to EVERYONE! Your body and behind will thank you :)
Benefits of Colonic Hydrotherapy:
- Makes digestive system more effective
- Maintains regularity and prevents constipation
- increases energy
- increases body's ability to absorb vitamins and nutrients
- improves concentration
- kick start to your weight loss
- decreases risk of colon cancer
- increases fertility
- maintains pH balance in bloodstream
- improves your whole body well being
Why is it better than laxative?
1. You aren't afraid you're going to dirty your undies all day long
2. You do not have to excessively use the washroom after the session
3. It gives your friends mr.bowels a workout so they work better naturally rather than laxative force them to work
4. No mess, no smell
And now a guest post from Katie Dunlop!! And her take on Mr.Tube and the Colonic:
Hello everyone!
So, unlike Miss Alexandria, I am not shy about the big ol “p word” at all! Everybody does it, and as long as there are no sounds or smells, what’s the big deal!? However, the thought of having something inserted into my behind to drain stuff out was a little bit scary, especially knowing I had to drive 30 minutes to work after. I was convinced I would not be able to leave the toilet all day!
Ally, so kindly, did let me go first, all the while laughing hysterically as the nurse instructed me what to do and I probably had a look of pure horror on my face. I do agree though, the facility we went to is very modern and you do everything yourself so there is nothing invasive, other than having a nice little tube up your butt!
I don’t think I handled it too well to start out. I was terrified when all of a sudden I felt like I was going to be violently ill and the nurse, quite calmly, kept telling me to “release, release, release”. There were a few times I almost screamed at her to “PLEASE LEAVE”. There is nothing nice about having someone in the same room as you when you are “releasing” your feces. Once you come to terms with the fact that it is basically 45 minutes of feeling like you are going to crap your brains out, and then not, it is all quite comfortable.
After 2 sessions, back to back, I lost 2.5 pounds. TWO AND A HALF POUNDS of built up crud! How gross! I feel great, basically like I hit a reset button on my body!
I would recommend this to anyone, especially if you are changing your diet and lifestyle and want to remove the damage that you may have been doing up until this point!
Don’t be scared, everybody poops
